Monday, March 14, 2016

to the peacemakers in every family and their loved ones

Hello! I wanted to take this time to share some thoughts about those in all of our families who we call the peacemaker, the mediator, the calm one, the compromiser, the listener. You name it and this person is in every family.
These people have softer hearts. They love in a full, deep, whole souled way. They may absorb a lot more. They feel things on a much deeper level. They are told by many to grow thicker skin, toughen up, stop being so naïve. They frequently are the ones to try and listen and bring compromise to many situations in their families. After years of practice they are then turned to by friends and acquaintances. They still have their family that they try and listen to and support. Pretty soon they become an outlet for all who are around. And their softness begins to grow weary. They want sleep, or healing of their own, or peace of mind and soul. Sometimes they may see that their life is not their own; they are meant to serve others. But then the real wear and tear comes how do they find their way out of this endless place of give and no receiving? When will their needs be met? Eventually there comes a sweet healing in Christ or a higher power as some choose to call it. But it takes time. Sometimes they have given so much the healing takes weeks, months...years. It comes. But what could help this?
I've wondered a time or two about what would help these loved ones before they get to this burn out, this almost past feeling state. And I've come to the conclusion that if we were all a little bit kinder. If we listened to each other more. If we sought to meet needs rather than have our needs met. If we chose to set boundaries and not turn another person into our personal dumping space. Workout what is okay and not okay to share. Talk about what will help you thrive in a friendship a relationship and keep those boundaries. They will help you love each other more freely than anything ever has. Respect each other's realities. Care enough to ask.
There is always so much more but really, truly consider these people in your families. Love them! Because I can assure you they love you more than you will ever know.

Check out this video on Boundaries by Brene Brown.

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