On Monday, July 6, 2015 4:59 PM, Katherine Walter <katherine.walter@myldsmail.
ELEVEN MONTHS! Holy Moly! How has the time flown? I feel so different in my relationship with the gospel yet like the same person at times. I don't know, all I do know is that I love the Lord.
So this is a bit longer because I just had a crazy experience that I am so excited about but want to share with you all but don't quite know how to articulate. :)
So today for p-day we went to a trampoline place called Get Air. And while we were there I jumped on the trampoline, ran around, talked to the other missionaries and just sat and watched. But at one point there is this obstacle course. And I wasn't going to do it. But one Elder challenged me. I got a little stubborn and said okay. The obstacle course had a thing you climb under, a wall to climb over, a rope wall and pads to fall on. But the two scariest things were the rock wall and the fireman pole.
We got to the rock wall and his companion had gone to the top to help if I needed it. He scurried up and they were coaching me. (all of a sudden I wished we had gone back on my birthday last year.) You lift yourself with your legs but not your arms. I got super close. And was pretty scared when my one leg was slipping. All of a sudden both Elders were at the top helping me with the footholds. "To the right, do you feel that one? Okay, now the left, you have to go up a bit higher..." and so on. And when I got to the top they wanted to help me. So one took one hand and it was pretty scary to let go. And his companion grabbed the other. And they helped me feel secure as I pushed with my legs. I made it safely as I just kept saying the whole time hanging on to the wall, I can do hard things.
Then it came time for the pole. I didn't think this through. I stood up there, watched the Elder as he coached me. I was just so tired. My arms felt weak. I felt incapable. But there was no way of getting out of this place except down the pole. He went down. Then came back up. His companion came back up and they just were like, lets do it together. And went down, cheered me on. And my companion cheered me on. She came up. And went down. And another Sister came up. I was watching these people come in and out and walk through showing me how but it didn't mean anything. I kept reaching for the pole with both hands and they kept telling me I was so close and then pulling back because I was scared and felt weak. But the Elder just sang the Iron Rod.
I know it sounds cheesy. But these big life lesson moments were hitting me. I keep reaching and pulling away from the word, or from God. I don't embrace it with everything I have and then let go of the fears. There is just something deep inside of me that hasn't accepted it all with the entirety of my soul. But it is changing. I feel it. I am accepting the atonement in my heart and I feel the warmth of it.
So as I finally told the second Sister to grab the pole and go with me I felt some pole burn, but also everything went away. I came to at the end and felt a complete release.
I walked away from the wall and began to draw the religious and life parallels. I saw that the people walking through and trying to show me and tell me are all the people in my life telling me what to do. So what do I learn from each of them? What do I take? What do I give? Am I a taker? How many people come in and out and who do I truly love and learn the most from? And what gets me the farthest? It was interesting to see that the person who got me the farthest was an Elder friend. But what got me down was the symbolic moment at the pole thinking about all the things I need to let go of. And that what got me the farthest was trusting in the Lord as I let go of things. I hold on and care about the Lord but do I cleave? Am I glued? Hold on to the Lord and His word and let go of everything else. I let go of some stuff up there. It was kind of Spiritual. And who knew you could learn so much from a rock wall and a pole! :)
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