Sunday, July 20, 2014

the journey to knowing

originally written 7/9

I’ve said this before on this blog and many, many times writing in my journal: Satan is real. I’ve never known the reality of Satan more than now in my life. I’ve also wondered why I don’t hear people talk about the realities of Satan more. Maybe they do, but I’m not listening?

I do hear General Authorities and the First Presidency counsel us to beware of the temptations of the adversary. They speak in Conference about more real things of the adversary. Bishops, Stake Presidents, some Young Women and Relief Society leaders I have had also to. One institute teacher this past spring in Boston was very candid about the darkness of Satan.

Do we do ourselves a disservice by not speaking more truth? More of our own truth from our journey?

I know at times, in my own life, I have sat in testimony meeting wondering how these men, women and children know what they know. I do believe that we all know some things more readily in our soul than others. But those that we don’t come by that easily, where is the part behind that tell how truth was found?

These are probably more just things that I struggle with alone.

I’ll leave with this. I know that God is in everything in life. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and another testament of Jesus Christ. I know that the Atonement of Jesus Christ provides the saving grace that we need in this life. I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God who through the direction of God and Jesus Christ restored the true church to the Earth today. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the church that holds the complete truth as far as God has revealed it to His prophets today. I know that the temple is the House of the Lord where I can go to learn and grow spiritually, to be buoyed by the Spirit. I know there is truth in prayer, which is how we can communicate with a loving Heavenly Father.

I know these things because I have asked. I have read. I have searched. I have doubted and I have struggled for years to know the truth. I have struggled with the burdens of darkness on my soul that come either from my choices or because bearing them is a gift that God gave me. I know because I have struggled with the questions like “Why me?” and “Why do bad things happen to good people?” and though the answers are sometimes less than satisfactory, I have faith in God’s will. I have faith in God’s will because of the struggles I have come through and still sludge through.

My personal knowing and testimony of the gospel, Christianity and love are a daily, uphill battle that gets harder every day to add fuel too. But I am learning. I hope that the truths that we all hold may be shared more readily to help others realize they aren’t alone in how their journey is being experienced.

Maybe the real focus of this post is that I hope we can learn to have a safer space in our Wards, Branches and greater communities to share real things. Share real things because the world is getting darker everyday but there is still so much light and good in it.

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