Friday, February 21, 2014

just go with the worst one first

so i have been experiencing some big blocks lately. mostly they deal with the fact that i am focusing on where i have fallen short. or at least where i perceive that i have fallen short. i was contacting my sponsor the other day and we were discussing how hard this time has been for me. i was able to work on my primary addiction and finally be able to have choice and feel the spirit again as i worked to not cope with that. with knowing where i was and where i am going my sponsor relayed an experience to me, when she works with other addicts who say things like i want this gone and that gone she say just go with the worst one first. 

i have worked on the worst one first, the one that kept me from the temple. now i can work on the other. i can be open to the healing and greater vigilance with this one. it takes a lot more conscious effort for me. it takes more trust and reliance on the Lord and His assistance in my moments of weakness and lack of strength. it takes listening to inspiration when i need greater assistance to reach out to a new friend who knows the pain and struggle of obsessive thoughts and compulsions. 

the hand of the Lord is so present in all of this. however i get down on myself and doubt my faith and abilities. gotta make it through with the atonement by my side. 

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