Wednesday, November 13, 2013

forgiveness

stream process:

this is so hard. but sometimes it is so easy. sometimes people need to vent. but sometimes it doesn't make sense. sometimes the more you care for someone and give your all the more you give, the more you feel the let down at the end. the more your heart aches at all you give and feel you give. but you keep going, keep smiling, keep trying to be the best you can because that person needs love and support. you support in the best way you know how because it is all you can give. are any of us ever really supported and met where and how we fully need? only from God and our Savior Jesus Christ. there will always be moments missed and times when you gave all your soul could muster and it won't be enough. but inside knowing that you did it...should, could, would be enough if you couldn't feel the absolute let down of the other. when you feel that heartbreak and anger come at you then it incapacitates you. knocks you down for a few days. even though you pray and plead in your heart to come through and read scriptures or talks; the way you feel devastates your soul. people love you. you laugh. you smile and keep moving. but that gnawing inside that you didn't meet that one person's needs doesn't go away. then you hear their anger and/or frustration and its all confirmed again. in that moment...you weren't good enough. but you still try, love and move on though your soul is breaking. you try because that is what the Savior does, His sorrow is mirrored in yours. and though you may never meet this person or that one, try with everything you have because at least you are giving your all.

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