I have recently deleted my previous blog to move things all under one account. The last thoughts I shared were about my summer of transformation. So, it has been awhile.
The past eight months of my life have taken me on a journey that I could have only imagined before. While working through some deep, personal trials I was able to work on strengthening and rebuilding my relationship with my Father in Heaven and His son Jesus Christ. I was also able to build a better relationship with myself. I began to trust myself more as I was also placing more faith in God. It is truly amazing how much I could learn once I replaced my trust and faith in God. He is truly an amazing part in my life.
As I continued this spiritual progression, I was also continuing in a temporal preparation towards the move to Boston. I found that as my faith in the Lord increased, my anxiety was extremely manageable. I was better able to function in my relationships with my family and friends as I kept preparing. As the time got closer to move here, I did get a bit nervous but I was still enthusiastic.
Before we left Illinois, my mom and I went to Nauvoo to see the pageant. It is about Joseph Smith and some of the significant moments in his life and in the history of the church. The pageant also focuses of the lives of a family come from England to join the saints. The story follows the husband through his conversion and building relationship with Joseph. It goes through the Preach My Gospel manual which shares ways to share the gospel. But it is also a fantastic manual to help us enrich our own lives and become better people. While we were watching I really felt like I came to know the spirit of one person sacrificing their life for the best cause, spreading the news of the gospel. I want to love something so much and care so much about the cause that I feel I could lay down my life for it! Joseph truly became one of my heroes that night.
On our way to Boston we stopped in Kirtland, Ohio and Palmyra, New York to visit more church sites and my care and admiration for all the saints and their great sacrifices became etched in my heart.
Once we made it to Boston my faith was being tried beyond my emotional limits. I was feeling uncertainty and despair at being left in a large city where I knew no one! But the thought that fear and faith cannot exist together kept coming to my mind. So as the anxiety built, I tried to remember that my life is in the Lord's hands and he will take care of me if I do my part. I prayed and received a blessing from my dad and felt like I could make it.
Now almost two and a half months later, I am doing well! My life has opened some doors for me that I had not thought previously possible. I have also began to make some great friends at school and a few at church. I am getting into my program and am constantly reminded in some way why I am even pursuing this degree. I do like Boston, but I do know that I am not a city girl. I try to make the best of every moment I am give but it is hard sometimes. There are times when the loneliness and despair get to me but I take a step back and try to learn from it.
Heavenly Father has blessed me so far with safety, caring individuals in my life, kind visiting teachers and two wonderful roommates! Though we are all busy the majority of the time, we get to talk and grow together.
I wonder what I will learn next!